


Temporary Indulgence

by Ylevihs



Series: My Name's Not Matt [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Consensual, Humor, M/M, PWP, Top Hux, bottom kylo, but with just a little plot, gentle fingering, hux is as much of a gentleman as I could imagine, it's kylo's first time bottoming, really not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:22:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ylevihs/pseuds/Ylevihs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux makes a valiant attempt to come to terms with how he feels towards Kylo Ren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Temporary Indulgence

**Author's Note:**

> *laughs sadly into the distance*

“Because Matt was a temporary indulgence,” Hux snapped. He was too tired to deal with this. The First Order was barely recovering from the loss of the Starkiller Base and he was in no mood to deal with Kylo’s histrionics. The force user was sitting on the edge of Hux’s bed, bare-faced and covered in barely suppressed anger. “This cannot continue,” he said and Kylo’s shoulders sank low and back; not quite a tense position, but still a dangerous one. The air gained a familiar heavy feeling. A warning. Hux felt little concern over it as he had never been physically assaulted by Kylo Ren. ‘Yet’ his mind added treacherously, ‘he hasn’t beaten you blue, YET’.  
“Because I can’t be?” Kylo asked snidely and Hux turned to glare at him without any real heart in it.  
“Of course not,” he said bluntly. It was true. Matt had been a body, something warm and physical and yielding, but not much else. Hux could focus on satisfying a physical need without worrying about anything beyond whether the idiot would blab about it at his next post. That wasn’t even a real concern, because, really, who would’ve believed him? But Kylo…

Hux, no matter how hard he tried, could not separate the man’s body from the man’s position. There was no release, no feeling of unsupervised luxury when it came to Kylo. Hux’s mind relished in replaying the event with Matt, inch by inch, allowing him to savor each moment. It particularly liked the point where Hux had been the one to pull Matt against him, the one to drop, unabashed to his knees, before the other man and taste him. Such a thing couldn’t be done with Kylo fucking Ren who would smirk and sneer and file it away to use as ammunition against Hux should he ever need it. Hux with Matt had relaxed and enjoyed; Hux with Kylo had played a chess match against himself and lost every time. 

Not that there had been over-many times, a voice in Hux’s mind pointed out. It sounded a little slighted. Hux ignored that thought. 

“You liked it better when it wasn’t me,” Kylo said. His tone was a Molotov cocktail of aggression and accusation and bitterness. The Knight’s hands were clenched tightly against themselves, but they made no movement against the General. 

“Don’t be idiotic, it was never NOT you. Even when I thought otherwise,” Hux’s mouth had failed to run that sentence by his internal censor. It left him feeling numb in his fingertips. He tasted sour bile in his throat. 

There was the real problem. It had always been Kylo. Hux’s silent, chest gripping paranoia that Kylo would take the information he learned whilst in bed and store it away had already been realized. Kylo already had more than enough to ruin Hux—he’d had enough back when Hux had still thought he was Matt. The revelation of Matt’s identity in the midst of a disastrous attack by the rebellion had not been the highlight of Hux’s day and the creeping distrust of everyone was strong in Hux. It railed that it couldn’t afford to give Kylo anything more. To cut and run before Hux was cut apart. Hux was convinced the only reason Kylo hadn’t outed him for unbecoming conduct was that the force-user hadn’t yet realized how devastating it could be for Hux’s military standing. 

“No. There’s a difference,” Kylo said lowly, his eyes burning through a spot in Hux’s floor. “In the way you treat whatever this is; the way you want it,”  
Yes. His gut agreed immediately. No, Hux’s logical and precise mind interjected, there really wasn’t. Not in how he wanted this to play out. For this conversation to lead to something warm and slick and without repercussions and for Kylo to just drop the subject so they could fuck and then go about their day. 

“Fine. Yes. There’s a difference,” Hux barked, just wanting his mind to stop reminding him of things he would rather bury deep inside. 

“Why?” Kylo demanded sharply, his dark gaze swinging up and pinning Hux where he stood like an insect ready for dissection. Fuck you, Hux’s mind shouted, for once in its existence, in unison. Then he stopped and drew himself to his full height and breathed deeply. The best answer Hux’s mind was willing to put forward was ‘because there just is’ which really wasn’t going to cut it. 

“I don’t fucking know,” he sounded just as resigned as he felt. Hux WANTED. He wanted to just think of Kylo as a pliant and ready body and fuck it into oblivion. And then never deal with it again. Transfer it to a different base and have dreams about warm hands and never have to speak of it again. But he couldn’t. Something in him stubbornly reminded him every time, every single damn time, that it was Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren, his only competition for Snoke’s favor. Kylo Ren, who undermined him at every turn. Kylo Ren, who was incompetent and a risk to every mission he went on and who was like a walking natural disaster towards everything neat and orderly. Kylo fucking Ren who failed even in the most minute of tasks. Kylo Ren who had been given, even if for only an instant, access to Hux when his guard was down. Who now knew things about Hux—the man had been INSIDE him for fuck’s sake. 

Kylo’s training with Snoke had had little effect on the man save for one key attribute. He was becoming more subtle with his use of the force. Hux felt the pressure behind his eyes dissipate just as soon as he realized it was there. Another headache coming on, he thought and dismissed the sensation easily.  
Hux felt the wave of Kylo’s anger break over him in a daze. The general braced himself and still wasn’t prepared for the taller man to rise and clasp a hand around the back of his neck. They held each other’s stares. Against his own desires to think about it, Hux’s mind pointed out that he was becoming a bit of a connoisseur of Kylo’s anger. This one was all high tension and only growing in aggression. Something deep and fine played into this, which Hux couldn’t identify. 

“You’re a liar,” Kylo said finally. His deep voice was soft in Hux’s ear; the same tone he used when he thought out loud and thought no one could hear. 

“What?”

“When I asked you if you were afraid of Kylo Ren,” he said evenly. The anger was still present in the air, but the nature of it was beginning to change substantially. It set Hux’s teeth on edge. It felt tight and reed-like, as a wire holding too much tension before it snaps completely. Something red hot and needle thin darted in it. “You lied when you said you weren’t,” Kylo’s voice had the tone of a fed-up teacher explaining a simple answer to a problem student. “I don’t care that you don’t trust me,” he continued, and Hux’s mind went into a panic-induced free fall. “But I never thought you would lack the insight to be able to tell that you aren’t the only one with dreams of ‘warm hands’,” his voice was ragged.

Shit. Hux’s mind repeated the profanity like a sacred mantra. Shitshitshitshit. 

“Get out of my head you--,” Hux began to seethe but Kylo cut him off. 

“I’m not in it at the moment,” his words were clipped and severe. He took half a step forward and their chests were touching. 

Hux was prepared to duck and cover. He could, ideally, dodge down and to the right; land a jab in Kylo’s side where the bow-caster wound had left him flinchy. Roll to the door on his right shoulder, into the hallway, com for reinforcements. Don’t stop moving. Don’t bother with a blaster, head straight for the armory where the practice rooms could be pressure sealed for atmospheric training. The fury pulsing off of Kylo was not some bizarre method of flirting. He wasn’t being purposely stubborn or snide or…the small voice that Hux had been effectively silencing ever since he had first seen Matt finally shouldered its way to the forefront of his head. It was screaming.  
He had never purposefully been a moron, either. It was an absurd thing to think of halfway through planning an escape route, yet there it was. Kylo Ren wasn’t an idiot on purpose. He was an idiot because he was too dim to see his own failures building before his eyes. 

Matt and Kylo Ren being the same man meant more than just who Hux had successfully gotten off with. It meant that each and every one of Matt’s failures and disgraces were Kylo’s and that _they hadn’t been an act_. Kylo really had been doing his best to be a radar technician and to get to know the staff and…and…oh. Shit.  
The sudden dissipation of Hux’s fear had a visual effect on Kylo. The taller man blinked at him; the anger still present but gliding smoothly into an annoyed and confused haze. A great deal of the tension had faded away when Kylo had realized Hux was not in the midst of terror.  
Well. It was either that or the fact that Hux was failing to keep himself from grinning. 

Now was not the time, he knew, and Hux swallowed hard to keep the smile from his face. Now was not the time, Kylo looked that perfect mixture of confused and angry and Hux was beginning to grin at him and NOW WAS NOT THE TIME. His brain pulled up the image of Kylo Ren wearing a ridiculous blonde wig struggling with live wires and down on his knees cursing at a broken connection and having his tools kicked away and not being able to do anything more than glare.  
Kylo was staring at him now but Hux couldn’t stop. After a moment Kylo narrowed his eyes and muttered something about not having poked around long or deep enough to have damaged Hux’s mind. Kylo tightened the hand on Hux’s neck. Ah yes. Hux’s ever-present nemesis and idol, the only part of Kylo Ren that Hux felt completely disconnected from, the Hand. 

“What is so amusing, general?” 

“Nothing. You colossal idiot,” despite the smile, there was no joy in Hux’s voice. A simmering sort of anger filled the corners of Hux’s mind like comfortable smoke. Why did it have to be idiots? Why couldn’t he be attracted to light eyes or thick necks or simpering poets who cried when they came? Why did it have to be idiots? Hux felt familiar disappointment rise up in himself. Fearing that Kylo Ren might lash out and beat him beyond recognition? Acceptable. Fearing that Kylo Ren might run him through with his damn saber? Perfectly fine. Fearing that Kylo was cleverly insidious enough to keep and use blackmail against him to sabotage his position? Hux was almost surprised at his own paranoia. Kylo Ren couldn’t plot a star course let alone a political coup. 

“Are you hard right now?” the shock was clear in Kylo’s voice.

“Probably,” he said dismissively. Hux hadn’t really been checking, but yes, that sounded about right. Kylo seemed to consider that silently for a moment before closing his eyes in an unusual gesture of calm.

“You are the strangest man I’ve ever met,” he said lowly. Hux had no response to that. What could he say? Even he didn’t believe Kylo was wrong.  
The emptiness in the room almost made Hux dizzy. Nothing oppressive was surrounding him; he didn’t feel that extra tinge of gravity that Kylo brought with him everywhere. It was, well, slightly distressing if Hux were to be honest. Hux was not honest with himself. Instead he focused on the Hand and how Kylo was moving his fingers and how Kylo still hadn’t opened his eyes yet, which was rather odd wasn’t it? The Knight was composing himself and Hux had a wriggling, cruel thought in the back of his mind that whispered about the nuance of anger Hux had been unable to pin down. Part of Kylo’s rage had been hurt bleeding through.  
It had hurt his feelings that Hux was afraid of him. 

Hux did not consider that thought. Hux ejected that thought out of the airlock of his mind to strangle to death in the abyss of his subconscious. No. No. 

He likes having sex with me because he believes I’m not afraid of him. 

Nononono. NO. Kylo’s mouth was moving and Hux had to tear himself from his thoughts to catch it in time.  
“—want you to fuck me,” his voice was low and Kylo had brought his lower body close enough to ghost teasingly across the front of Hux. Hux had heard and understood but because his brain was still trying to suffocate his pitying thoughts for Kylo, all that he managed was:

“What?” 

Kylo’s mouth twisted into a sneer. Then it fell from his face as he sighed. This was a release for Kylo as well—Hux’s mind had failed to kill the thought and now it was growing like toxic mold—this was a space where he didn’t have to focus on being threatening and overwhelming and he could just exist as a body and he had admitted to wanting and…Kylo was offering an explanation. 

“You enjoy it, don’t you? The feeling of me fucking you,” he began. Hux very astutely did not allow his face to change. It was a legitimate conclusion on Kylo’s part, but Hux would be damned before he would ever phrase it like that. Kylo grew quiet and then shrugged, almost dismissively. Almost. “I thought. Just a thought,”  
Oh. He’s embarrassed. 

Hux hated himself more than a little for not having better control over his own thoughts. He made the decision to silence his thoughts by gripping Kylo’s hips and grinding hard against the other man. Kylo’s mouth found Hux’s, his hand holding the general’s head still and close. Not that that was necessary. Hux was more than pleased that, for the moment, his brain had agreeably switched focus to getting Kylo out of his damned clothing. On both prior occasions that Hux had had to deal with Kylo’s multi-layered monstrosity, the Knight had handled disrobing for the both of them. Again, Kylo pulled back from the kiss to slip his hands under the cowl but Hux stopped him. On principle, he assured himself. Cowl first, then. 

Hux watched Kylo’s face as he slipped his palms against the other man’s front and under the ragged black fabric. The taller man licked his lips and Hux swallowed hard. The cloth pulled easily over Kylo’s head and as it left his person Kylo dipped his head and kissed Hux on the corner of his lips. A noise reached Hux’s ears of Kylo toeing his boots off. The belt, too, was simple and with it gone it was reasonably easy to remove the thick tunic. All that remained was the ribbed undershirt, pants and whatever he wore underneath. Simple. 

Hux allowed his fingers to trace their way under the shirt up to Kylo’s nipples. His fingertips made small, gentle circles around the edges. Kylo rested his forehead against Hux’s temple and breathed out softly against his ear. Hux fought back a flinch when he felt a hot, wet tongue against the shell of his ear. Kylo chuckled low and deep and Hux pulled back and away to tug the undershirt over Kylo’s head. 

The sleeves of the undershirt were tight and fit closely to Kylo’s arms. The black clothing failed to remove itself smoothly from the Knight’s frame. Hux bit his tongue to keep from laughing, yet he couldn’t stop the tremors in his arms. The damn thing was caught over his head. The one thing Hux would’ve asked for if he’d had his way. The night was getting better by the moment. It was nearly three seconds of bliss until Kylo ripped it away. It was a little unfair, Hux thought sourly, that he didn’t actually rip the fabric as he had done with Hux’s uniform pants. There was a lull in activity as Kylo threw the undershirt across the room like it had offended him.  
Hux allowed himself a moment of admiring the other’s form and then pulled him back in closer, tonguing the hollow above Kylo’s right collarbone. His hands went to remove Kylo’s pants and as he did so, Kylo began the much simpler task of undressing Hux. The belt was undone in an instant, the over shirt discarded with a flick of the wrist. Hux took the liberty of removing his own undershirt, freeing Kylo to properly tug Hux’s pants to his knees. His hands remained on Hux’s lower back. Hux did a quick move and slipped his boots off with practiced ease, stepping out of his pants and underclothes as he did so. 

It was by almost pure instinct that Hux knew Kylo’s hand, or as his mind liked to think of it, the Damn Hand, would drift around over his thigh towards his cock. Hux batted it away, pushing instead on Kylo’s shoulders—broad and firm and lightly scarred and FOCUS dammit—to move him to the edge of the bed. He allowed himself to be pushed into sitting with surprising compliance. Hux decided to move from the top down. He kissed Kylo briefly, slipping his tongue shallowly into the other man’s mouth before trailing his mouth over Kylo’s chin and down his neck. His mouth left a slick line of saliva down the center of Kylo’s chest, the coldness of the air apparent on his skin.

Hux crouched down low at the edge of the bed to reach Kylo’s dick. The Knight made a rather satisfying noise in the back of his throat when Hux took him into his mouth. Hux rested his hands on the crest of either thigh, using his thumbs to tease the flesh at the base of Kylo’s cock. Before Hux’s sex life had been resurrected it had been more than a few months since Hux had given anyone a blowjob and now he was dredging up what techniques his mind had held onto. He ran his tongue along the underside and lathered the tip each time he reached it. Hux’s hands left Kylo’s thighs and came to cup and gently massage his sack. Kylo made a low noise and bucked his hips slightly. Hux’s jaw made a slight creak of protest at the sudden movement. Then he felt a hand twisting into his hair, not quite pulling, not quite holding him still. Hesitant as always. 

Hux’s spare hand began stroking what wouldn’t fit in his mouth. Kylo’s breathing began to grow heavy and Hux pulled back, being mindful to cover Kylo with a hand so that the cold air wouldn’t be such a shock. There was a noise not unrelated to a groan of impatience from the other man, which Hux ignored. He went to stand and as he did, Kylo made a half motion to return some of the attention. Hux turned out of his reach before Kylo could touch him; he didn’t need any help at the moment. 

“I have,” Kylo’s voice was thick with lust. He gestured vaguely at the pile of clothes on the floor. Hux raised an eyebrow and said nothing, pulling his own lubricant from the bottom drawer of his nightstand. “I see you thought you’d need it,” it was probably meant to be a quip, but the fact that his pupils were blown and his pale skin was starting to redden with arousal made it difficult for Hux to take his banter seriously. Kylo reclined until his back was flush with the bed. Hux fought off the desire to crush his form against the Knight’s and rut against him until neither of them could…no. Focus. 

Hux spread the lube over his fingers letting his body heat warm it before gently circling Kylo with his pointer finger. His finger pressed into Kylo’s heat and at the same time Hux began mouthing along the length of Kylo’s dick. The other man tightening reflexively and Hux waited patiently for him to relax, distracting him as much as he could by running his tongue over the head of his cock. Once Kylo stopped trying to break Hux’s finger off, he took a deep, shuddering breath and Hux’s sadistic streak urged him to plunge in. Hux shook it off. He liked his head very much where it was; he especially liked how it hadn’t been severed by a lightsaber or torn apart by the force.  
He moved his finger gently and shallowly, occasionally glancing up to see Kylo’s face. Eyes closed, brow furrowed, mouth parted in the ghost of a sneer. Hux’s dick twitched longingly between his legs at the sight. He slid a second finger into Kylo who inhaled deeply; clearly doing his best to not tense his muscles. At least he was adapting quickly to it, Hux thought. He remembered his first time. It had been less than overwhelmingly enjoyable to feel another human squeezing their body into his own. Once Kylo had stabilized himself Hux began the slow process of stretching him. To Hux’s surprise it wasn’t long before Kylo shifted his hips downward, sending Hux’s fingers deeper within him. Hux curled his fingers and began using long, soft strokes and after he repeated the motion for a few seconds, he was rewarded with a long, steady exhale from the man under him. 

“Hux,” Kylo did not moan his name. Which was a slight disappointment. His voice was a bit too steady for Hux’s liking. 

“Impatient, are we?” Hux replied obligingly. Kylo glared at him, the effect somewhat being lost as he was glaring at Hux while the General’s fingers were knuckle deep inside of him. He didn’t reply. “Relax,” Hux ordered, not unkindly. “Now is not the time to rush,” he punctuated his point by spreading his fingers, drawing a small noise of discomfort from the other man. Although he would never admit it, Hux was relishing this time wherein his natural patience was trumping Kylo’s erratic tendencies.  
He wondered idly how long he could keep Kylo squirming with his own damn hand. He pressed in a third finger and let Kylo adjust; quicker than the last time. Kylo let out a moan, fully fledged and unmistakable. If he was bothered by it Kylo didn’t show it on his face, which had fully tightened now. Hux placed a chaste kiss on the head of Kylo’s dick and removed his fingers. 

Hux used about a third of the damn bottle of lube on himself, pressed even more lubricant into Kylo who twitched at the contact.  
“Ready?” Hux asked, hating how thick his voice sounded. He had done a fair job of ignoring his own need by focusing it onto Kylo. Now his skin was practically crawling.  
“Yes,” Kylo replied firmly; he had slid his own hand down to gently stroke himself. Hux allowed him to, laying his hands on Kylo’s hips. He pressed the head of his dick in as slowly as he could manage. The heat was bone-achingly good. A sharp hiss of air from Kylo had Hux gritting his teeth and remaining still. Then. “Go,” Kylo had opened his eyes to slits; they caught the light and were dark and filled with desire and Hux sank in further. He didn’t seat himself fully before he began to pull back. Kylo made a noise that was like a cough and a moan. 

Fuck. Fuck he felt so good. Hux grunted low and moved a hand to press against Kylo’s abdomen. The muscles there were twitching slightly. And, oh hell, he was so hot and tight. The hand Kylo wasn’t using to stroke himself grasped Hux’s wrist. His grip tightened as Hux thrust in a tad bit farther. Hux repeated the motion—sinking in deeper each time, pulling back as slowly as his own lust would allow him. Hux did not pick up speed. He wanted to. Every muscle fiber in his body was shrieking to be let loose and fuck Kylo with reckless abandon. But Hux was better than that. 

Right up until Kylo thrust back against his hips and Hux was fully sheathed within him and then he _moaned_ and ground down ever harder and.  
Hux’s other hand shot down to support himself as he leaned over Kylo and began moving his hips. He still didn’t move quickly, but he couldn’t stop the sharp angled jabs he was laying into Kylo. 

“Shit, Kylo,” he moaned quietly. Kylo was making small noises now with nearly every thrust. His head had fallen back against the bed, spreading his dark hair across the sheets like spilled ink. The hand on Hux’s wrist tightened and twisted, mimicking its brother on Kylo’s dick. Hux felt something small rise up in his mind and it was out of his mouth before he could stop it; once it was out he found he was glad he hadn’t stopped it. “Cum for me,” he ordered. Kylo did not respond, his hand working frantically on himself. Hux allowed a bit more aggression into his thrusts and as he did Kylo came. 

Hux slowed as Kylo twitched and thrust up into his hand, but he didn’t stop. Kylo moaned low and throaty and for a long time. It was when Kylo let his hand fall limp to the side and panted heavily, spent and looking up weakly at Hux that the General couldn’t hold himself back any longer. Hux clutched at Kylo’s hips holding him still as he spilled deep into Kylo’s body. Kylo gasped at the sensation, slightly overstimulated, and drug his fingernails over Hux’s arm. They stayed like that for a moment or two before Hux started to come back into his own mind. 

Hux panted and lowered himself as steadily as he could, dropping onto his elbow, and leaning his weight away from Kylo. He had gone soft and slipped out of Kylo’s body with a sick noise. The Knight shifted around, wincing slightly as the endorphins began to seep out of his system.  
“I think,” Kylo had regained much of his composure already, which sent a stab of jealousy through Hux. “I can see why you like it,” he swallowed thickly, his mouth apparently dry, “when I fuck you,” 

Hux didn’t really have the energy to verbally spar and was a bit envious of the fact that Kylo apparently did. He chalked it up to Kylo’s relative inexperience leading to a rush of excitable energy. Hux decided that nodding wouldn’t be too revealing and as he did he realized that Kylo hadn’t been baiting him. Rather he’d been trying to make a sincere point. And failing. Incompetent. Hux kissed him deeply. When they parted Kylo had a sour look on his face.  
“I feel disgusting,”  
“You look it,” Hux lied easily. Kylo’s upper lip lifted into a familiar snarl. “Go shower then,” Hux nodded to his bathroom but Kylo shook his head.  
“No. Give me about an hour and I should be ready to return the favor,” Kylo leered. Hux sat up and stared at him.  
“You’re joking,”  
“You need longer?” Kylo asked, completely serious.  
“Fuck you,” Hux said dismissively. “Besides I have work to get done,”  
“Bullshit,” Kylo spat back. “It’s the middle of the sleep cycle—no one has work right now,”  
“I always have work to do,” he said with grim honesty.  
“Work on it for an hour and then come back,” Kylo offered. Hux had to admit. No. No, he didn’t have to admit. Post-coital Kylo was something Hux could get used to. The slender creature looked for all the world like a completely normal and well-adjusted and satisfied man. He was even running a hand through his dark hair and had let his eyes slip closed peacefully. After a moment of indecision Hux reclined back, ignored the smug smirk on Kylo’s face, and closed his eyes. And, for the first time in Hux’s life, he fell asleep next to a man who was happy with him.


End file.
